Saturday, December 10, 2011
This weekend my husband and I are celebrating our first wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe that a year has already gone by. We met two and a half years ago, set up by a mutual friend. I never thought that this random guy I talked to on the phone once before meeting in person would turn out to be my answer to many prayers and the daddy of my future daughter. But I knew within a couple of months dating that I loved him and after he survived meeting my family a few months later, that he was THE ONE.
That's not to say this year has been all romance. Being married is hard sometimes but it's the good kind of hard, like when you'd rather stay on the couch and eat ice cream but know you'll feel better if you work out instead. I prayed for years that if God wanted me to be married, then He'd put someone in my life to get me closer to heaven, and that has been so true. I didn't know what sacrifice really meant until marriage, having to let go of what I want to do and say sometimes to make him happy, keep the peace, or because it's not the best thing for us. That's not to say I have a controlling husband, but this fiercely stubborn and independent woman has had to submit sometimes and let him take the lead in our relationship and decisions.
I didn't realize the importance of communication until being married. We joke sometimes about him not being able to read my mind yet, but seriously, I have to remember that. Just because I think it doesn't mean he knows it. It's been so important for us to discuss everything, from what we need to get at the grocery store, to who's using the car and should we buy a house. Our communication styles are different; he's very linear and I am all over the place and we have to take that into consideration. One of the things we learned in our premarital classes was when is a good time to talk to one another. For me, not first thing in the morning, for him, not after about 9:30 at night. He is a phone person, I'd rather send an email. But because we frequently make the effort to engage the other person in the way they best respond, a lot of arguments have been avoided.
I thought that we'd be spending all this time alone together as newlyweds, but it's amazing the demands we have that get in the way. We can be our own worst enemies, both of us are very social humans and have a difficult time saying no, but we're learning that we have to make our time together a priority. And I really do love it when we do. I used to say my friends, "How am I possibly going to meet someone that I don't get tired of hanging out with and talking to?". But it happened; we always have something new to talk about and enjoy doing similar things, and especially since a baby is coming, cherish the time alone while we have it.
My husband still surprises me, even when I try to be such a planner. He makes me laugh, keeps me from being serious all the time, works hard to provide for our family, has a servant's heart, and motivates me to remain disciplined in our spiritual life. I cannot wait to see him as a father; our little girl is going to be so adored by him. He already talks to her (sometimes in Spanish since I'm wanting a bilingual baby!) and it just warms my heart every time. I am so grateful that God gave me an imperfect person that's perfect for me, and I hope that he is learning as much from me as I have from him.