The Science of Parenting

The little one is two weeks old today. It's been interesting to see her personality showing through. She definitely has her likes (eating, looking at light) and dislikes (having to be changed, sleeping by herself at night). Every time I think I've figured out a pattern for her day, she changes it. For the most part, though, we're in somewhat of a routine. We don't get out of bed until pretty late in the morning. That time tends to be her quiet, alert stage where she's just content being held and looking around at things. She'll take a couple of naps in the afternoon/evening and then settle down for the night around midnight and wake me up to eat a few hours later, sleep some more, then repeat. Her feedings haven't been at consistent times or duration, although it ends up being about 5 hours of our day total. For now we've embraced the co-sleeping so we can get more sleep ourselves. We trade off holding her throughout the night but I'm not sure how that'll go when Dad goes back to work next week. Neither of us is looking forward to that.

Little L was baptized on St Patrick's Day. It was a beautiful ceremony performed by a priest we're good friends with. The small chapel was overflowing with our friends and family. She was so quiet the entire time, didn't cry once. We cried for her, both of us overwhelmed by this great Sacrament that changed her life. We had a nice reception afterwards and she got to wear the little St Patrick's Day outfit I bought for her over the summer, the only outfit I let myself buy while being pregnant. We've been so overwhelmed with everyone's generous gifts and support of her new life.

So things have slowed down a little for us now. All of my family is back at their own homes and it's just the three of us figuring out how to live together. We went to Mass together as a family and she slept the whole time. She went in the stroller for the first time, just down the block, yesterday. We head back to the doctor Thursday for a checkup. Next week brings the next test, taking care of things during the day without any extra help.

Hardest Week of My Life

So the little one decided to share a birthday with Michaelangelo. In not taking after her parents, she arrived early, by one day.

Many have already heard the labor story but if you haven't, here you go-

I went to bed Sunday night with lower back pain, right in the center of my back, different from the pain I'd been having during pregnancy. I woke up about 2:30 with cramping. I laid there, trying to decide if it was coming in a pattern or not. When my husband woke up about an hour later, I told him I thought they were contractions. A little after that we woke up my mom to let her know. We got ready to leave and monitored contractions, turns out there is an app for that. At 6 we called the doctor on call, notified our parents and close friends, and headed to the hospital. After filling out all the paperwork they took me back to a triage room, hooked me up to monitors to watch her heart rate and the contractions. The nurse checked on me a couple times, the doctor came once. About two hours later, the decision was made for me to go home because the contractions slowed down and I didn't dilate any further. At the time I was devastated; I felt like such a failure but ultimately I'm so glad we weren't at the hospital all that time.

So back home we went. And we were there all day. I updated friends and some asked if they could come over. We spent the rest of the day walking up and down the block, had lunch and ice cream, watched a movie, and told stories to keep my mind off of the contractions increasing in frequency and intensity. Check out The Bean's perspective on this day. My husband and I never envisioned going through a labor day this long and with friends and my mom there, but I'm so thankful we weren't alone, let alone stuck at the hospital where I wouldn't be able to eat or drink anything. Finally we made the decision to head back to the hospital at 11 Monday night.

This time around was very different. I had 4 very loud contractions just during the paperwork process and was in triage for maybe 20 minutes before they had us in a labor/delivery room. Originally we had planned on having a natural childbirth; after being in labor for nearly 24 hours I'd changed my mind. The call was made to the anesthesiologist for an epidural. The nurse checked me one final time and it was too late to get one. So I ended up getting what I wanted originally, funny how God does that. During the worst contractions my wonderful husband prayed the rosary for us; he was amazing that entire day, so positive and encouraging. The urge to push came on really quickly but the doctor wasn't there yet and the room wasn't prepared. He made it just in time, as she was crowning. Our little girl was out within a few minutes, born at 1:47 Tuesday morning. After we were both cleaned up, the grandparents came in to meet her for a few minutes. Awhile later little L went to the nursery, I got settled in the hospital room and by about 4am, it was the three of us starting this whole family thing together.

We were in the hospital until mid afternoon Thursday and received excellent care from the staff. I wish I had taken more advantage of sleep there, like I was told to, but the emotions from the delivery day and anxiety about the baby kept me from resting as much as I could. My husband took advantage of the time there to finally shave off his beard. He typically grows one in the winter time and decided around Christmas that he was going to grow it out until she was born. I'm much happier with the goatee.

So, since we've been home every day has gotten easier. I'm sleeping more, partially out of exhaustion but also I know that I need to let go and let God take care of this little baby just as He did before she was born. We originally planned to have her in a pack n'play at night but she doesn't like it, too much space and she fusses as soon as she's in there. She sleeps soundly when you hold her but then we don't sleep well because we're worried about her rolling off or getting smothered by covers. We tried the co-sleeper but in a queen size bed, there's just not enough space for the three of us. Last night my mom suggested trying the swing. She liked it while we ate supper and it worked well overnight. She woke up to eat, about the time I'd expected, and that was it. We'll see if we get the same results tonight.

Feeding is also getting easier. I'd been praying about breastfeeding these last few months, not taking for granted that it would just come automatically. The nurses at the hospital were very helpful and I discovered apps to help me keep track of feeding and diaper changes. Little L and I are starting to figure out each other's cues and what works best for us. She likes to put her hands in the way, thinking that it's helping when it just causes her and me frustration. Reminds me of myself and my tendencies to control when God wants to take of me in His way. I'm trying not to stress about her weight; I know it's typical for her to lose a little within the first couple days of birth and by next weekend she should be back to her birth weight. That was another surprise, everyone thought she'd be bigger than 7.5 pounds. I'm excited she gets to wear all the newborn clothes and diapers people bought her. The feeding time has been great for me to pray and read (downloaded books on my phone) and just be with her.

I have so much to be grateful for. My husband has been incredible. He keeps me hydrated and taking my pills, runs errands. He loves changing her diaper so they have their time to bond and is constantly taking pictures. My mom has been cooking, cleaning, taking care of the laundry and keeping me calm when I get anxious. My inlaws and our friends have been great about visiting and bringing meals or whatever else we need. And this little life we have now is just amazing. She is so beautiful, makes the funniest faces and noises; we are totally in love.

So while this week has been physically and emotionally exhausting, it's all been worth it.

Nesting

Now a week away from the due date. My father-in-law was really hoping for a Leap Year baby in honor of his mother whose birthday is today. Not out of the realm of possibility but looking doubtful. My husband and I were both late arrivals to the world and are generally not punctual anyway so we'll see how this 39th week goes.

I've now cut myself off from working and have managed to keep myself busy getting last minute things done before the baby comes. The doctor and hospital are paid and my husband's time off work was approved, both things causing me a little stress last week, so I'm grateful they are taken care of. We had the house cleaned a couple days ago and for the most part have the baby's room in order.

We were very grateful to get this dresser from a friend of a friend. One of the disadvantages of an older house is the small closets. The closet of her room is already filled with all of my clothes, shoes, crafty things, etc. so the large dresser is for her clothes, blankets and diapers. We went with a Noah's Ark theme, hence all the cute little animals people have given her.

If you're my friend on Facebook you may have seen the rocking chair and crib when my hubby put them together. We got her diaper pail, hamper (it's in the corner where you can't see it) and the rug from Ikea. All of her other items- swing, vibrating chair, toys, play mat, stroller are in the office half of the room. Decided not to post a picture of them since many of them will probably be moved into our bedroom or the living room as we need to use them. The empty wall space over the crib is where we'll have letters spelling her name. We've got a frontrunner but months ago decided not to set our hearts on a name until after we see her face to face.

So what else have I been up to?

Trying to stay stocked up on food and items around the house so there will be fewer errands to send people on later.

Pampering myself with a haircut and color and pedicure.

Maternity photos

Getting time with friends.

Watching childbirth dvds.

Reading "The Happiest Baby on the Block". Even got to try out some of the techniques on a friend's baby and they worked!

Buying items we didn't get from the showers and then figuring out where to put them.

Going to bed early and sleeping in until it's just too uncomfortable or I get too hungry.

Visiting the doctor for checkups.

Getting the car washed.

Writing in my journal and her baby book.

Lots of prayer.

According to the almighty internet, here are some famous people our daughter could share a birthday with in March-

1-Justin Bieber, Zach from Saved by the Bell, and my dad's favorite, Harry Caray

2-Bon Jovi and Dr. Seuss

6-Michaelangelo

7 (the due date)-Pam from The Office

10-Chuck Norris (he lives in TX, maybe he'd come visit us in the hospital!)

14-Einstein

I'm not looking at any dates past that!

Final Countdown

We've got two weeks to go now. I told my husband last night that I was actually feeling more ready but then this morning, when I could've slept in, couldn't because I was thinking of all the things that I need to do today.

I've been working occasionally the last two weeks but have had much more time to do the whole nesting thing. It's ironic that it happens at this point in pregnancy. I have all this motivation to work on things in the nursery, but my body keeps me from doing as much as I'd like. I get short of breath quickly, bending over to pick things up is a challenge, and I can't lift very much. But I've been able to do A LOT of laundry; I just keep finding things that need to be washed. This girl has so many clothes.

My husband and I went to the childbirth, baby care, and CPR classes. It was very amusing to watch him give a doll a "bath" and dress it, and then he just kept the baby in his lap while the teacher continued to talk. We both feel more confident now that we've had a little practice.

In case you're wondering how I'm feeling physically, overall just slightly uncomfortable. Haven't had any BH contractions yet and don't have that "dropping" feeling. But, the bag is packed and loaded in the car with the carseat just in case. Praying daily for a safe, natural delivery and trying to remember that she'll come when she's ready. Makes planning a little difficult but learning to be flexible now!

Out with the old

Today is the start of my 30th week of pregnancy. According to all the e-mails I get monitoring my progress, there's 70 days left. That's about two months to finish preparations for baby. Our little girl was on our minds a lot over Christmas, knowing that next year, there's going to be a baby crawling around getting into the presents, playing with the boxes her gifts come in instead of the toys, probably no 10:30pm Mass on Christmas Eve. Family have been very generous in already buying gifts for her, so I've been able to be pretty good about my commitment to not buying her clothes, as tempting as it is.

We're still working on cleaning out our office/spare bedroom to turn it into a nursery. This is our most recent addition.

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find an indoor, adult-sized rocking chair in Texas, by the way.

As my husband and I received gifts for Christmas, we're sticking to our in and out rule. We get something new, we get rid of whatever it's replacing. As I go through closets and drawers I'm amazed at how much stuff we have, even though we've been working on this purging process ever since we married and moved in together a year ago, but we keep finding more we don't need. It feels so good to let go of possessions, reminding ourselves that we can't take it with us.

Matthew 6:19-21 "Don't store up treasures here on Earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be."

This will continue to be a challenge as babies come with literally stores of stuff you can acquire. We're hoping to set a good example for our daughter and try to keep our home as simple as possible. We've already decided that instead of making Christmas Day a day of presents, that it will be a part of the Advent and Christmas seasons, with a small gift on St. Nicholas Day and the Feast of the Epiphany, teaching her why we give gifts to one another.

Happy Anniversary

This weekend my husband and I are celebrating our first wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe that a year has already gone by. We met two and a half years ago, set up by a mutual friend. I never thought that this random guy I talked to on the phone once before meeting in person would turn out to be my answer to many prayers and the daddy of my future daughter. But I knew within a couple of months dating that I loved him and after he survived meeting my family a few months later, that he was THE ONE.

That's not to say this year has been all romance. Being married is hard sometimes but it's the good kind of hard, like when you'd rather stay on the couch and eat ice cream but know you'll feel better if you work out instead. I prayed for years that if God wanted me to be married, then He'd put someone in my life to get me closer to heaven, and that has been so true. I didn't know what sacrifice really meant until marriage, having to let go of what I want to do and say sometimes to make him happy, keep the peace, or because it's not the best thing for us. That's not to say I have a controlling husband, but this fiercely stubborn and independent woman has had to submit sometimes and let him take the lead in our relationship and decisions.

I didn't realize the importance of communication until being married. We joke sometimes about him not being able to read my mind yet, but seriously, I have to remember that. Just because I think it doesn't mean he knows it. It's been so important for us to discuss everything, from what we need to get at the grocery store, to who's using the car and should we buy a house. Our communication styles are different; he's very linear and I am all over the place and we have to take that into consideration. One of the things we learned in our premarital classes was when is a good time to talk to one another. For me, not first thing in the morning, for him, not after about 9:30 at night. He is a phone person, I'd rather send an email. But because we frequently make the effort to engage the other person in the way they best respond, a lot of arguments have been avoided.

I thought that we'd be spending all this time alone together as newlyweds, but it's amazing the demands we have that get in the way. We can be our own worst enemies, both of us are very social humans and have a difficult time saying no, but we're learning that we have to make our time together a priority. And I really do love it when we do. I used to say my friends, "How am I possibly going to meet someone that I don't get tired of hanging out with and talking to?". But it happened; we always have something new to talk about and enjoy doing similar things, and especially since a baby is coming, cherish the time alone while we have it.

My husband still surprises me, even when I try to be such a planner. He makes me laugh, keeps me from being serious all the time, works hard to provide for our family, has a servant's heart, and motivates me to remain disciplined in our spiritual life. I cannot wait to see him as a father; our little girl is going to be so adored by him. He already talks to her (sometimes in Spanish since I'm wanting a bilingual baby!) and it just warms my heart every time. I am so grateful that God gave me an imperfect person that's perfect for me, and I hope that he is learning as much from me as I have from him.

New Traditions

Outside it actually feels like December should today, though I've been in the Christmas spirit since last week. You may not be able to tell if you saw our house. We have out the Nativity set that I played with when I was little, our stockings sitting, waiting to be stuffed and some pretty towels in the kitchen and bathroom, but that's about it. My inability to lift things over 20 lbs and a general discomfort pretty much all the time prevented me from decorating a tree. We're still trying to get rid of things to make room for baby so I just couldn't bring myself to pull out more stuff for just a month's time. I did buy a new ornament for this year; this and the wedding ornament I bought last year will be on a tree next year, I promise!

Been listening to a bit of Christmas music. A friend shared She and Him's album, which I'm liking a lot. Zooey's voice reminds me of Patsy Cline. Tomorrow will be the first movie of the season, White Christmas.

My husband and I are starting new traditions this Advent in anticipation of sharing them with our daughter in the years to come. Today is the Feast of St. Nicholas. I'm not big on Santa, so we will celebrate this day instead. Nothing big, but we bought little gifts for each other in honor of this Saint's generosity.