Next test of patience

So what I couldn't write in my last post was what I've been praying about a lot. My husband and I wanted to start a family this summer and God blessed us with me becoming pregnant in June. But we agreed we weren't going to make the news public until after our first sonogram which wasn't until August 19. So yes, lots of praying this summer for the "fruit of the week" as that's how all the websites describe the size of the growing baby. I'm at week 15 now and prayer obviously hasn't stopped. I've had to battle a lot of lies (a downside to me being home alone a lot to think) and trust God more than ever. While there are precautions I can take to help keep the little one healthy, there's also a myriad of things about its development that I have absolutely no control over. God has told me over and over again not to fear and to trust Him and I'm slowly starting to listen and believe the truth of His word.

There's also a whole lot of waiting. 40 weeks feels like forever, especially since I'm at the stage now where the nausea is over (still have the fatigue many days), but I'm not really showing, can't feel the baby moving, and don't know what the sex is. This is the honeymoon stage I'm supposed to enjoy, trying to remember that. The Bean suggested that we keep a candy jar with the number of days we have left so we can eat a piece a day as we count down. I have peanut M&Ms and the husband has Skittles so the time looks a lot shorter in his jar. At least I don't have the gestation of a giraffe. I learned recently their gestation is 400-460 days and they give birth standing up, with the baby just falling to the ground!

Other random things from my pregnancy thus far-
I have had cravings, though they usually last for a few days and then I decide something else sounds better, so there's lots of boxes with two or three items left inside. Pickles are the one exception, can't get enough of those.

I'm also in the in between stage where I don't really need maternity clothes yet but my bottoms are pretty uncomfortable. That being said, I've started wearing maternity pants for the wonderful elastic waistbands. I got a pair of jeans at Forever 21 this week; when I told a couple friends they both commented about a teen store selling maternity clothes. Hey, I'm 31 and still shop there so I think it's totally ok.

We're wanting to raise this baby as eco-friendly yet cheaply as possible so wanting to use cloth diapers. Things have changed a lot in 30 years, the options are overwhelming. Thank God I have friends who are using them or will be soon so I can get some help.

You would not believe how many people have asked me already if we know the sex of the baby. Not until mid-October. I haven't had any feelings about what it is one way or the other, but lots of other people have an opinion and it's pretty much been split down the middle. My dental hygienist gave me a blue toothbrush yesterday because she said it's a boy.

The next 7 months a lot of babies are coming into the world. I am so excited for our little one to have playmates. God is good.

Where did the summer go?

Scientifically I know we have another month of summer, and given the weather we've been having in Dallas, it's going to feel like summer until November. But for 26 years of my life I've been a teacher or student so to me summer is over when school starts. All of my teacher friends are back to work now. The summer camps I worked at the zoo are done. There's no more little ones having swimming lessons at the YMCA pool while I'm attempting laps. Tomorrow is another transition for me into this new role as part-time housewife. People have been asking me how I feel about staying home and what I normally say is, "We'll see when school starts back and I'm not there." So, I'll let you know in the weeks to come.

But it got me thinking this morning about what has happened over these last two months.

I spent three weeks at Starbucks tutoring former students.
I worked middle school summer camps at the zoo. It never gets old watching the mountain lions stalk children.
I clipped coupons and went to the grocery store more times than I swear I ever did in the years I was single.
We bought a new car and a new computer. Now, when do I get the Iphone 5???
I taught teacher workshops in Dallas, Ft. Worth, and Arkansas.
We drove across west Texas (it's really big, BTW) and into New Mexico to get to the beautiful mountains of Colorado. And we really didn't want to come back to the blast furnace a week later.
I spent a few days at the lake with my family. I see them two times a year, yet they know me as well as best friends.
I cheered on my husband at two bike rallies, one more to go in a couple weeks.
Celebrated my birthday and the birthdays of my mother-in-law, flower girl, and a dear friend.
Watched a lot of Harry Potter, Big Bang Theory, Psych, and How I Met Your Mother.
Read Jane Eyre, People of the Book, 2 books by Jodi Piccoult, the autobiography of Lois Lenski, and Unbroken.
Accomplished two of my summer goals, finally printed and organized all our wedding photos and sent out our thank you cards. The back room is still a work in progress.
Prayed. A lot.

I'm anxious but excited to see what is in store in the months to come.

God High

Had an amazing God-filled weekend. Two of my husband's old classmates were ordained into the priesthood on Saturday. Catholic or Protestant, if you've never seen this before, you should. It has all of the elements of the Mass, with even more rich, traditional ceremonies included. There were dozens of priests and deacons there from all over the world to welcome their new members into the brotherhood by the laying of hands and and embracing. The three new priests were from England and Nigeria and the third is American but half Japanese and half German. Seeing the African people there in their beautiful outfits and headdresses, listening to the different accents, and seeing people like my Mexican students in the congregation reminded me yet again of our Universal Church.

Because I'd been to an ordination last year for another of my husband's friends, I knew what to expect for the weekend. It is truly like a wedding celebration. We went to a reception Saturday evening, complete with the photo collage and guest book, table favors, buffet-style meal, and cake. But we also received a blessing from the new priest (Father James) and spent a lot of time talking with other priests in the diocese. Then on Sunday, we were there for Father James's first Mass. His father was a lector, his brother an altar server, his sister a soloist. It was beautiful.

So, like after returning from a retreat, I'm on a God-high. Being around so many young, vibrant priests encourages me about the future of our church. In three years we'll have another ordination to attend, and I found out recently of another friend who just decided to enter the seminary. Seeing how these men are influenced by their families and friends to answer this call inspires me to continue to pray for vocations and those who are currently serving God.

Penny saved

The last couple of weeks I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out ways to save a little money here and there. I signed for every possible restaurant that gives you something free around your birthday (can't wait for next June!), actually look at the grocery store ads to compare prices, follow different stores and people on Twitter to get tips, and yes, clip coupons. Instead of going to one store to get everything we need, I'll drive to multiple places that have certain items on sale and just get those few things. Yesterday alone I went to three grocery stores. Fortunately we live in an area where's it's not a huge waste of gas to do this.

My husband and I have talked (not argued!) more about money in the last month that we did combined in the five months of marriage previously. We have to plan now, decide can we go out tonight if we'll be on vacation later on this month, instead of just doing what sounds good at that moment.

I was thinking when I was out at store #3 yesterday, why haven't we been doing this all along? Oh right, because we didn't have to.

Definitely not an excuse. I did have a little excuse, no time while working one full time job and others that were part time. Now I can go on multiple errands, in the middle of the day no less, poke around online for an hour to find coupons, go through the ads that come in the mail. But really thinking about what we're spending, planning ahead, communicating, those are all things we could have been better about before. The Bible talks about money and resources more than anything else so as believers, we need to be good stewards of the gifts we've been given.

I was taking that for granted. I recognize that I need to be careful of not swinging too far to the other side and hoard and try to control all we have out of fear. Nothing we own is our own, it is a gift and God provides in all circumstances.

Now to go back and read the end of Matthew 6 again.

Growing up

There's something about hearing words from your mom versus anyone else.

Given the condition and age of my car, my husband and I decided to trade in both of our cars and go down to one new vehicle. It's the same kind of car that I had before but a few years ago its style was changed. So yesterday I drove the new car for the first time to the Y so I could swim laps. When I came out I took a picture of the car and sent it to my mom. As I was driving around running errands, seeing many others of the same car on the road, I realized that I have a grown-up, practical car now. We decided on this car for all these adult reasons-safety, more space, gas mileage.

My mom emailed me back about the picture saying, "That's not a ride-it's a minivan. Plenty of room for car seats and strollers?"

She knows I have a huge aversion to minivans. I have said for years that if I ever have kids I will never drive a minivan because of all it represents to me-a sheltered, suburban lifestyle that I thankfully never had growing up (explains the laugh my mom got from the picture). Not that there's anything wrong with living in the suburbs-it's cheaper, quieter, safer-it's just not for me.

But deep down I knew Mom was somewhat right. We are hoping to start a family soon and the decisions we've made the last couple months, like buying this car, are in preparation for that.

I have a feeling that I as I keep getting older my mom is just going to keep be even more right about things, but don't tell her I said that.

Rubber meets the road

In my last post I wrote about not working full time and my worries about rest and how I would use my time. What's been on my mind the last few days has been another frequent worry, MONEY.

The hubby and I were pretty good at communicating about our finances even before we were married and sat down with a financial planning friend about a month after the wedding to get everything joined together. But a couple days ago we had to take a serious look at our finances and see how we were going to do this on one consistent salary. A very humbling afternoon.

And then yesterday, my car overheated on the interstate. Right now I'm waiting for the call from the dealership and praying. A lot.

I've struggled with trusting God to provide ever since college. The first verse I memorized was Matthew 6:34. "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have trouble of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today."

Did God provide for me in college? Yes. Has He provided for my needs before and after that? Yes. Did it mean that I sometimes had to sacrifice things I wanted to take care of things that were needed? Yes. Do we have support from friends and family that could help in emergencies? Yes. Will I be able to take it with me? No.

So why do I still worry?

The psalm from Mass today, 68, says, "A bountiful rain you showered down, O God, upon your inheritance; you restored the land when it languished; Your flock settled in it; in your goodness, O God, you provided it for the needy."

I came across this blog post today, another reminder from God about the blessings of poverty.
http://www.ncregister.com/blog/the-blessings-of-poverty?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+NCRegisterDailyBlog+National+Catholic+Register#When:2011-06-7

God, help me in my unbelief.

Third Time's a Charm

But at least this time, the blog I started still exists!

Yes, it's been 10 months since I last posted. In the meantime, I set up and dismantled 2 classrooms in a new school, moved twice myself, and got married, so the blog was put on the back back burner.

But hopefully I'm going to have more free time to post, so I'm hoping I can get into a routine of writing; I'm inspired by my dear friend at http://beanonparade.blogspot.com.

Not only is it summer and school's out, but my new hubby and I decided that I'm not going to work full-time in the fall. It's been frustrating this semester to try and keep things together at home and at work, so we're hoping that I'll be able to take better care of everything with more time at home, and be less stressed doing it.

The morning of day one this plan sounds great. Right now it's like any another summer. We'll see how I'm doing come August. We both feel this is where God is leading us, but the thought of a lot of free time makes me a little nervous. I pray that my time will be filled with rest and I will respond to what God wants me to do and not just give myself tasks so I feel productive.

One of the routines I want to get into is going to Mass during the week. The gospel I heard today from John 16 says, "But when he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you in all truth." The reflection I read from Archbishop Luis Martinez really speaks to my hope for this transition:

"As the artist is not content with explaining to his pupil the secrets of art, but takes the uncertain hand of the beginner, and gently but firmly moves and guides it in order that the beauty of his ideal may be expressed on the canvas, even thus does the Holy Spirit takes our faculties and move and guide them, so firmly that they do not stray, and at the same time so gently that our activities continue to be vital, spontaneous, and free."